I am officially getting my Bachelor's Degree in Intercultural Communication with a minor in Asian Studies, and I'm seriously looking into an exchange program with a Japanese University for Spring of 2006.
I have a little over $5000 in my checking account because my financial aid has finally been processed. This is very good news, as I can pay all of my bills on time and still have extra cash to send home to the parental units.
... And one of my teachers (okay, all of them) are lovable geeks. Especially my Com 270 teacher, who posted a list of fun grammatical thingie-doos that I simply had to share with ya'll. (Pay no attention to how many of these rules I break -- They're for reports and scholarly essays, not online diaries.)
1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
8. Be more or less specific.
9. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. One should never generalize.
15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16. Don't use no double negatives.
17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be avoided.
21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one will suffice.
23. Kill all exclamation points!!!
24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25. Profanity is for #@1*%$.
26. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earthshaking ideas.
27. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
28. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
29. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it effectively.
30. Puns are for children, not for groan readers.
31. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
32. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
33. Who needs rhetorical questions?
34. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
35. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
... Yeah, my teacher kicks ass. He's also a geeky redhead, and if he wasn't so old (I'd say thirties) I'd probably have one of those silly crushes like you see on television or read about in manga (I've never had a crush on a teacher, but I imagine it could be fun). Ah, well. It's still the single life for Suzy.
Which I'm thinking is a good thing. And I think my heart is finally agreeing.
... Until next time, folks! Keep your ears clean!
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